You don’t need to apologise to me for your autistic child (or your autistic self)

I’ve been doing a lot of events recently. These tend to be family fun days, or autism or SEND events and I have a lot of wonderful young people and their families visiting my table.
The bright colours and fun shapes attract adults and children alike (which of course is my aim; funky designs for all ages) and I can often see someone clock the table from across the room and start zooming over.

Some of my young customers may ask if it’s okay to touch, some will dash over lightning fast and grab a chew, squeeze it, throw it back down and grab another, investigating the whole table in a matter of seconds. Others will pick up a chew and immediately put it in their mouth and be very reluctant to relinquish it! Some of my young customers will hang out for as long as they can, stacking, lining up and playing with the chews.

I see the parents flustered and sometimes panicked, rushing to stop their child, hastily trying to put items back where they were, worried and stressed and apologising over and over. It makes my heart hurt, as I can see how many times they must have experienced judgement, glares and harsh words in other public situations.

Other times an autistic adult may visit and take some time choosing, feeling, comparing, asking questions. They often apologise for taking up time and space and my heart goes out to them so much. I wonder what their experiences have been so far for them to feel they need to apologise just for being them.

I try to reassure them as best I can.

I am ALWAYS happy to help, please ask as many questions as you like!
It’s okay for your child to touch them, please don’t worry
It’s absolutely fine if your lovely boy is lying on the floor by the table to regulate himself
Take as long as you like, I am here all day
It’s not a problem at all if your child wants to take apart the puzzle display and put it back together.

You are in a safe space here, I get it. Hopefully everyone here gets it and you are somewhere you can relax a little.

One of the reasons I am trying to do as many events as possible, is I think for so many people it is so important to see, feel, bend, squeeze and even smell the chews to find the right one. For people with sensory needs shopping for sensory products, online shopping doesn’t cut it. My table is one of the few places people ever get to see and feel chews before they buy.
There is such variation in flexibility, firmness, thickness, texture across chews and for so many of my customers, items have to EXACTLY right for the chews to fulfil that sensory need.

So come, be you, grab, bend, squeeze. Ask questions, go and think about it and come back later. Whatever you need, I’m here and I am very happy to meet you and your family. I am very happy to help.